The main strength of this study is that it provides preliminary data on women in polygamous marriages and the foundation for further research. 15 Signs of a Histrionic Narcissist in a Relationship, How to Make an Anxious Avoidant Relationship Work: 15 Ways, 15 Signs of Narcissistic Parents-in-Law and How to Deal With Them, 15 Signs of a Clinically Covert Narcissist Husband, Why Do I Attract Narcissists: 10 Reasons & Ways to Stop It, Denial Stage of Grief: Signs and How to cope, 10 Ways to Deal With Your Husband Not Wanting You, 5 Ways to Fall Out of Love After Infidelity, Treading Carefully: Getting Back Together After Separation, 3 Ways Separation in Marriage Can Make a Relationship Stronger, 10 Things You Must Know Before Separating From Your Husband, 12 Steps to Rekindle a Marriage After Separation, How to Combat the 5 Glaring Effects of Anxiety After Infidelity, How to Have a Trial Separation in the Same House, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. 2008; 148(6): 745-764. He proposed for marriage to me as a second wife. He says he isnt much of a speaker. Understand that he couldve cheated, but rather chose something that is common in African culture. Thamsanqa says its important to make sure you really want another wife, and to thoroughly analyse your reasons. Mrs. Arslan did not avail of divorce and said it was her fate to share her husband with her co-wife for the future of her children. It found that while 70 per cent agreed that Muslim men have a right to polygamous marriages so long as they can treat all wives fairly, only 30 per cent would allow their own husband to marry . Appointments were previously taken and the interviews were conducted at their places for their convenience. She has been married for 40 years. The surprise is this: when the moment comes, the man jumps with alacrity. But Thembi* (the second wife) shocked our husband and decided to stay in the main house with Thamsanqa. They each have their separate rooms, and their husband alternates time spent between them equally. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. PostedNovember 5, 2012 She told when her husband introduced her to the other co-wives, in the beginning, they both cursed me but later they made a compromise and accepted her. These themes were generated from the co-wives experiences. All of that financial mess can translate into a financially difficult second marriage. The sharia, Islamic family laws, and international human rights law: Examining the theory and practice of polygamy and talaq. I don't care about the feelings of his first wife, his first . 2014; 8-10. In some countries like India, Iran, Iraq, Bangladesh, Algeria, Lebanon, Morocco, Jordan, and Kuwait allow a woman to include a clause prohibiting polygyny in marriage contacts. ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry received 934 citations as per google scholar report, Research Article - ASEAN Journal of Psychiatry (2021), Received: 20-Nov-2021 I was so sad and heartbroken to the point of not speaking to him for three days! After calming down Lillian communicated her feelings and concerns to Thamsanqa, and he explained his point of view. These are jealousy, poor marital satisfaction, unhealthy competition, lack of trust, and many other mental health problems [12]. A qualitative methodology was adopted to explore the experiences of polygamous women. Jul 20, 2016, 1:53 AM. Because her first husband always cursed him by saying a childless woman. A married couple that stays together can rack up plenty of debt, but what about a marriage that ends? Your spouse may still have lingering feelings associated with the former marriage, including guilt, shame, regret, anger, sadness, or many others. As she said 'I am unable to fulfill the needs or desires of my husband, so I allowed him for 2nd marriage. Mrs. Kamran was the 2nd wife, working in a hospital. But few years passed her husband was involved with another lady and married after few years. Jealousy is something almost everyone is afflicted with at some point and just because someone chose to be in a polygamous marriage doesn't mean they deserve less sympathy than anyone else. A Tajik court found him guilty of polygamy and of driving her to suicide, but spared him a jail sentence and ordered him to pay a $1,300 fine. Islam allows men to marry up to four wives at one time but the condition is to maintain equality and Justice in all the possession whatever a man holds in material means [1]. There are many stereotypes associated with being a second wife. That kind of baggage can be detrimental to a second marriage and undermine any benefits of being the second wife. Instead it is the familiar routine of waking to an arm around your waist, the companionable bathroom talk with mouths full of toothpaste, and the idea that someone will know if you dont make it home at night. 5. She does not have an apartment . It is still bound to have some of the same relationship issues that we all face from time to time. What are the disadvantages of being a second wife? And it can get particularly difficult when it comes to discipline. She said, in the beginning, I was not happy but with time and being realistic I have admitted and have divided the household chores. She said, I don't think I was the one that could not have children. The supervisor of the study verified the emerging themes and contents. 3. Though she faced a lot of criticism from the first wife. Your spouse has lost their first wife either to divorce or death, both of which bring immense, albeit very different, pain and coping mechanisms. Polygamy has become common practice in many communities including Pakistan. The majority of Muslims have accepted official polygamy. So second marriages tend to have less of the giddiness and more of the serious daily life attached. They get along because this is normal to them they have agreed to it., We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred. Love marriage: Love marriage is a very common reason for co-wives [13]. International Journal of Social Psychiatry. Mrs. Mustafa was another 1st wife. He was a handsome 25-year-old who worked as a miner, and when he asked her gogo if he could marry Lillian, Nomqondiso agreed. Polyandry is a specific term used to describe marriages between one wife and at least two husbands. Another common stereotype that is associated with females is to give birth to only female children which increasing the ratio of female infanticide because some men are in favor of only male children. The psychological health of women is essential to raising a sound, healthy family and should receive high priority, particularly in developing countries where resources are limited. Disadvantages (Demerits) Of Polygamous Marriage 1. The study was an attempt to gain perspective about the causes of polygamy, its consequences, and the most important womens ways of coping strategies in polygamous marriages. Lots of people are betraying their partners while pretending to be monogamous. I will make another video using your. The advantages of polygamy were included sharing in-house responsibilities and child-rearing. She told that My in-laws had not good relationships with the first wife of my husband. We have also learned of situations where a man is forced by his family to take a second wife because his parents disapprove of his first wife for any number of reasons (they didn't choose her, his mother no longer likes her, she's not the right nationality, ethnicity, skin tone, caste, race etc). But here I am, married to a man who was married before. She said, there was a time when I thought no one in the world was in my favor except God". I was so impressed., READ MORE:Celeste Ntuli and Ayanda Borotho on their roles as sister-wives in Isibaya. Objectives: The study investigated the causes of polygamy, outcomes, and women's coping strategies to deal with co-wives relationships. Accepting being a second wife can be challenging for those who are considering polygamy. The Quranic prescription for polygamy suggests that men can marry two, three or four wives (but not the other way round, naturally). All are located in new apartment buildings in good neighborhoods; their total value is about $5 million. Literature indicates that the structure of the polygamous women's families badly affected the psychological and social functioning of polygamous women and children [9-11]. Since that we gave importance, care and love toward each other, i accept his proposal. Community awareness of the effects of polygamy on women through media campaigns is a beginning step. This prompted one Javed to petition the Supreme Court that since Muslim. I didnt really get it, but my parents are big on communication in a weeks time I was on board. Thembi says she knows people often question polygamous marriages but shes adamant that sometimes the women gain a lot more than the men. I am the grown-up woman he married as a grown-up man. It was hell for my mom and me afterwards, Evelyn says. Results: Three themes emerged from the study based on findings. Ibn Qudamah writes: So, you're happily married to the Muslim man of your dreams when, suddenly, he drops the p-bomb: polygamy. The world is their oyster. Al-Sharfi M, Pfeffer K, Miller KA. Participant Mrs. Abdullah stated that in her pain after her 1st husband's death and later divorce from her previous husband due to barrenness when she met her third husband who dealt her effectively with her emotional pain. As Mrs. Amir told the researcher, in the beginning, she got more privilege than the first but as time was passed and she did not conceive there was a time when she was completely ignored by in-laws and later from her husband. Family pressure: Family pressure is also one of the common reasons for polygamous marriages. The co-wives were approached from their homes. We have an ordinary life. It is still bound to have some of the same relationship issues that we all face from time to time. , each person taking on whatever debt there is, plus paying attorney fees, etc. Lower incentive to cheat in a marriage. disadvantages of being a second wife islamirina emelyanova pasternak 26th February 2023 / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by / in coastal carolina football camp 2022 / by And what if one of the wives has a problem with the way her husband is treating her? Now she was not ready for 3rd. The participants expressed the usage of different coping Strategies in polygamous marriage as religion, fate, compromise, and sisterly bond with co-wives. Social Change. Source: Sunan Sad ibn Manr 633, Grade: Sahih. Conclusion: Polygamous women though claimed that polygamy has disadvantages but to them, divorce is not an option. Being a parent is hard enough; in reality, being a stepparent is out of this world hard. Al-Krenawi A, Slonim-Nevo V. Psychosocial and familial functioning of children from polygynous and monogamous families. Some children may not accept a new mother or father figure, so instilling values or upholding rules with them may prove difficult. 2020; 24: 339351. Too many people are dying because of the conflict between monogamy and polygamy. While a second marriage can be successful, its still a relationship composed of two imperfect people. Policy-makers should be made aware of the implications of polygamous marriages on womens health and well-being. Illiteracy, being a wife of a husband with three and more other wives, current history of depression, intimate partner violence, and poor social support were significantly associated with suicidal . Teyana Taylor and her husband can have threesomes if it works for Celeste Ntuli and Ayanda Borotho on their roles as sister-wives in Celeste Ntuli and Ayanda Borotho on their roles as sister-wives in Isibaya, After Criselda Dudumashe recently shared how her husband allegedly beat her up we thought we'd remind women how they can seek help. 2008; 42(2), 103-117. When she asked her husband, he refused to accept it. Mrs. Tanveer was though accepted her husband's second wife but she told, when my husband got married to the second wife this sharing was indeed hurting for me. Mrs. Imam was 58 years old working lady living with her 2 children and a relationship with her co-wife. "Eva*, now 60 was married to my father for 28 years, and then one day he said he would like to add two more wives - they were twins," she recalls. And there remains a slight sense of imbalance. She was in severe depression after this trauma. Gabe and I won't have that. She also said, "'my children and 1 should get a fair and deserving share of the marriage and properties". Both were a happy couple with 2 boys and 1 baby girl. Polygamy is often based on traditional cultural practices or religious beliefs. Conclusion: Polygamous women though claimed that polygamy has disadvantages but to them, divorce is not an option. All interviews were audio-taped, transcribed verbatim, and were then analyzed by interpretive phenomenological analysis. In many typical cultures like India, China, and Pakistan infanticide is a very common practice despite an illegal and social evil [5-7]. She always imposes a fine of 5,000 Malaysian ringgit (around $1,700) and six strikes of a cane. The findings of the study indicate that polygamy is a painful and bitter pill for most women to swallow. 2009; 103(1): 17-29. Hed moved from mining to owning a taxi business. According to Ali Kurbanov, a 27-year-old practicing Muslim who is also looking for a second wife, it is difficult for a woman to agree to her husband's second marriage, however, if a woman. Avoiding adultery According to WorldCat, 99 percent of polygamous married men use this reason as justification for their undertakings. northern golf tasmania,